It is not about the chair

The chair is ruined. It was suddenly too late, or was it the perfect timing? Being not patient enough, big strokes of thick orange paint of straining of the back and on the seat, endlessly trying to make it better, it only got worst. My fingers are full of paint which I can’t remove, my head is turning because of the smell. The chair is not how I wanted. I felt first disappointed and that it was destroyed. After a dreadful day of painting, on my bicycle I suddenly felt relieved. Since it is not about the chair, I don’t need the chair. I had to paint it orange to realizing that the chair was just a sort of projection process. It’s a chair of amateurism, trying, caring but also frustration and failing. Can self-sabotage be a research method?